My daily life
I started to work in the shop last week, and I'm now working full days. It's good to get some routines, but this annoying cold I've got makes everything harder. I'm coughing, snuffling and have less energy than usual. But hopefully I'll get better soon.
I'm still alone at home, but I have to admit that I don't really enjoy it anymore. I'm running out of ideas for what to cook for one person, and I'm rather lonely to be honest. I'm looking forward to Saturday, when mum and dad will be home again and everything will be back to normal!
When I get some energy back, I'll sit down and pick out which photos from England to develop and put in an album. It'll be fun to look through the photos again. Remember everything with joy! :)
I think I need fresh air and some cold home made elderflower cordial now!
Bye for now!
Pics of the weekend
Today, I've been so productive. Made scones in the morning, made elderflower lemonade (well, it takes 3 days until it's finished) did the washing, the dishes and cooked!
Glimpses of my room
Det kommer dagar
då min himmel inte alls är blå
ja det kommer dagar
när tiden går så sakta som tid kan gå
när ingenting nej ingenting
blir som man tänkt
Ja det kommer dagar
då nästan allt är för svårt att förstå
och man tvingas in på vägar
där det kan kännas allt för tungt att gå
men även de mörkaste av dagar
ska jag söka efter ljus här ändå
Ja det är dagarna som går
dagarna som går
som är livet
Det kommer dagar
då ingenting är lätt att förstå sig på
men vi ska hjälpas åt att slå
alla orosmoln till marken då
för även dessa gråa dar
lever vi livet här ändå
I know the heart of life is good
One reason I feel good is because I don't need to worry about what to do this autumn anymore! Today I signed the papers to start working at a school in Horred, not far from here, at least for the upcoming term. I will be working partly as an assistant for a student, and partly be helping another teacher with a group of children who need extra help. It will be a position with different things to take care of, and it feels a bit like a challenge, which is perfect for me! I will be working 75 % and I'll be free during school holidays!
Also, the house is empty since Friday last week, and will be for two weeks onwards. My parents are on holiday. It's nice having time for myself, but it will also be nice to start working in the shop tomorrow, for the summer. Perfect timing!
I'm listening to good music that makes me happy and in a good mood, both in the car and loudly at home. I've been on a concert in Varberg already, Daniel Adams-Ray (great!) and I'm really looking forward to the Håkan Hellström concert in 3,5 weeks. Summer is, and will be so great!
Tonight: the last episode of Game of Thrones. I am SO excited!
Life is good.
The Weary Kind
I switched Paris for Exeter
Memories of the student ball
All the photos (except for the first one) are taken by my dear sister-in-law.
I miss this
Going to nice places with friends
Relaxing by the quay
Pastel colours on the houses
Crazy parties with friends
The Jurassic Coast
Tea on the Green by the cathedral
Anne of Green Gables
8 days since I left England
Well, I guess I need to give you an update about what's happened since I came back to Sweden! :)
I've been busy meeting my big family and some of my friends, I've spent lots of time with people in general. Talked about my trip a bit (not showed any pictures yet though - i'll need a whole evening for that!). Other than that, I've enjoyed the beginning of the Swedish summer here. It's been 25-30 degrees every day since I came home, so why should I complain? :) I've also been baking a lot, since I've missed it so much. Muffins and cakes, I crave it!
I've started to watch the series 'Game of Thrones' which I really like. Exciting, thrilling, interesting, unique and gripping. Me and my sister is watching it every evening to catch up on the previous episodes. On Monday, I'll watch the latest episode with my brothers!
What I do miss about England is pub nights, the language (I still think in English, and sometimes some English words slip out of my mouth before I'm even thinking about what I'm saying), the people (both friends and English people in general - so polite and friendly!), and clotted cream. Walking a lot every day (I know I'm able to do it here as well, but it's difficult when there's a car parked outside the house... you get lazy!) and the river in Exeter.
What I appreciate with coming back to Sweden is firstly the food, the Swedish summer, the good quality we have, and the garden outside my house (the garden at my hostfamily was tiny!). I appreciate my village and the town nearby in a new way, and I'm more polite when going to cafés or supermarkets :) And of course I have all the memories to think back on. I have the photos and all the things I bought in England, and obviously, it makes me think back on my adventure in most often a dreamy, happy way!
My 36th dress
An evening with my loved ones
I absolutely LOVE my family, and we always have such a great time together. If my siblings read this: I love you so much!
Sister and brother-in-law!
Two of my adorable nephews and nieces! Ossian and Lisen!
Konrad, Levi, Ossian and Addick are getting ready for some football!
Sisters-in-law and bro!
Levi and Mildred!
Brothers (and Max, nephew)
Levi's getting ready for some singing before we can eat. Very, very important! ;)
Bro, nephew and sis!
Dear brother and sister <3
The last pictures of England
In the evening, I invited people to come to The Old Firehouse for a last night out. It was legendary! ;)
I'm in shock
A fog. A deep, blurry fog.
I am back in Sweden, and it's nowhere near as I expected it to be. I've been looking forward to going back for weeks, and here I am. Feeling completely lost. Lost in my own country, lost in my own house, lost in my own bed.
Don't get me wrong. We went to my sister's tonight, me and Jakob, and I cried of happiness when I hugged her and her husband, over and over again. We laughed our heads off and had two amazing hours together, and I will enjoy seeing the rest of my family and my friends again. But still, it is like a dream for me, firmly believing I will soon wake up. The only evidence I have is the tattoo, forever stuck on my ankle, and forever a memory of England. When I look at it, I can feel it again. England. My life of adventure.
But, let's start from the beginning.
When we approached my village on our way from the airport, dad driving, I got all serious and quiet. After been laughing and talking with mum and dad the whole way, I just lost myself in my own thoughts. I got tears in my eyes, and I couldn't stop them from start falling down my warm cheeks anymore. Parking outside our house, slowly walking up to the front door, opening the door and entering my room, there was no chance I could hide it the slightest. I burst into tears and had to apologise to mum and dad for behaving like a fool. It was just a too big shock for me. I didn't know if I was ready for this.
The calendar on the wall stood still on the 3rd of March, the date I left for England. The room was exactly as I'd left it. And the memories came back. The long autumn evenings when I sat there, lonely, bored and with lack of happiness in my life. Waiting to get away. Flee and start again. Change, which I definitely did. But my village didn't, and my room didn't. It's like I don't belong here anymore. I'm back, but now I am challenged and determined. Happy and experienced. I think I need to move things around in my room. Replace stuff and let the room start again, just like I did.
You know, these three months haven't only been like a long, wonderful holiday for me, as it might have seem. (Although most of the time it was incredible, everything I've experienced.) But I have cried more than I've done in months. I've had more thoughts in my head than usual, and I have never felt so left out and forced to live by only my decisions before. And to deal with the consequences. It has not been easy, but it has been necessary and important. Something good, and what I needed. It is just so hard to come back and remember my old life, trying not to go back to that when nothing has changed here, while I have.
I don't even know if I want my routines back. It's funny how easily you adapt to everything again after three months in another country. But what about pub nights? The English people? The trips? Should I just ignore the thoughts of my everyday life there and go on as before? NO, of course not! That is not what I want. Although I can't have my English and other international friends back here. I will miss them like crazy. They are all so different from Swedes. No offence, but the others are so easy to get to know, and to feel comfortable with.
It'll take some time. It'll take some tears. But I know that I will also share happy memories and laughs with the people I love here in Sweden.
So don't get me wrong. Just give me some time to think.